Part 1
Last fall, I was denied entry into a breakout at Salt Conference called “Before You Quit: Avoiding Ministry Burnout” because it was full! But not just every seat kind of full; we’re talking every square inch on the floor was spoken for.
According to the most recent Barna survey, almost 40% of people who work in ministry are planning their exit strategy. That’s tragic! And based on recent conversations with fellow church leaders, it’s 100% true AND the reason I decided to fast-track this “ministry-specific” blog! I couldn’t not.
The Church should be the best place on earth to work. It’s not… yet.
So, what’s the problem, and why are so many leaders in the Church opting out, or worse, burning out? But first, I must disclaim this blog because it’s a definite departure.
Disclaimer: Although these struggles are not unique to the Church, this blog trilogy is custom fit for ministry leaders. I'll be taking dead aim. If that's not you, this might get a little weird… (Back to our regular programming next month.)
K—For the remaining brave souls, let’s go! After twenty years of hypothesizing, here’s what I’ve concluded (so far)…
1. The great commission has no off-switch
“The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few.” And if you’re one of those workers, there is always more to do, right? And if that wasn’t enough pressure, you are doing it for God. Now get to work… Godspeed!
The greatest mission in the world can easily become the greatest excuse to overwork. (If we let it.)
Think about it: When your mission is to share the good news and reach more people for Jesus—something that has eternal implications—do you choose more souls or getting your kids off the bus? No brainer.
Wait, which is it? Exactly.
To make the problem worse, a constant drip of guilt and shame begins when faced with these questions (almost daily). At first, it’s not much, but the effect is cumulative. As months become years, the guilt becomes a wall between your work and home life. It can feel like you’re on the outside of both, no longer living, just looking in.
I’m 18 years into this layer cake. One moment, you’re with your kids wondering about a work thing; the next, you’re at work wishing you were with your kids.
Cue the calm before the burnout.
- But wait, what if there was a way to do ministry without short-changing your family or your faith?
- Is that even possible?
I believe it is. But first, we need to stop making our jobs more than they are.
2. We confuse calling and commitment
You might be “called” to be a pastor, but your commitment is to your family first. Admittedly confusing. You are “called” to lead worship, but never at the expense of your own faith, mental health, or marriage. Right?
A gal on my team recently had an epiphany after being on staff for about a year. A realization that either eludes most of us or takes people ten or twenty years to figure out. She said, “I feel called to work here, but it’s not my calling.”
Ooh. That’s it! No doubt we’re in the nuance, but the distinction is massive.
Your call is bigger than your role.
Somewhere along the way, we got confused about calling and relegated it to occupation. But we limit our calling unnecessarily when we confine it to our job.
When we allow work to be the sole expression of our calling, we fuse who we are with what we do and “forget we get to.”
Then, when we lose sight of the privilege to be in ministry, it changes our grip on the seat we sit. (Never pretty.) God wants us to “want to,” but woe to those who think God can’t do it without us.
God doesn’t need us. We get to.
3. We are in it enough to think it’s enough
I’ve had three “real” jobs so far in my career. First, I played guitar for a Christian artist named Rebecca St. James (RSJ) and got to travel the world doing ministry.
Then I worked for Apple Computer (MOA), taking people on a journey—never selling, only showing what’s possible. Translation: I sold computers.
And for the last 18 years, I’ve been on staff at a large church. (EBC)
Can you guess when my faith was most vibrant?
Unfortunately, for years it was Apple because it was clearly on me to prioritize my faith. It was a beautiful season of apologetics and daily devos in the food court next to a Ferris wheel—never missed.
Thankfully, it’s not Apple anymore, but a rote faith is an undeniable theme when I talk with Church leaders these days. Seems our soul is first to go when something gives.
But why? When having an “active faith” is a job requirement, something changes—if you let it. (I have several times over the years.) Voluntary becomes obligatory, things fuse, choices become rules, and wires cross that shouldn’t.
Is spending time with God something I do in the office? Am I choosing it, or is it part of my job? Does it count as work?
Cue the “Great Deception,” a slow but steady soul decline that looks eerily similar to this…
Imagine with me… You are busy leading huddles, praying before team meetings, and “in the room” for messages. What’s really happening is you’re close enough to the fire to think you’re hot. But you’re not as hot as you think! Eventually, your fire burns out.
Then, in a desperate attempt to re-engage, you dive headfirst into becoming a better leader by listening to all the latest Carey Nieuwhof Podcasts, attending conferences, and reading Andy’s books (wait, is he out now?). You are proactive. On. It.
You know your Strengths, Enneagram number, Working Genius type, and Colors. You even know your Meyers-Briggs acronym (despite being debunked, I think?). Did I miss anything? Oh, and you downloaded an app for meditation. So hot right now. I use balance.
When you meet someone new, it sounds like…
“Hey! I’m a red/yellow, 3 wing 4 (classic creative), Activator with input (not a strength), wondering (or is it wandering) inventor who does everything under the sun except read my Bible and pray. How bout you?”
We do everything except the only thing that matters, and our soul begins to ache. Congratulations, you’ve become an expert in all things Church—a professional Christian. (NOT A COMPLIMENT!)
Don’t wait for a wake-up wall.
There’s a reality in ministry that we need to start talking about… We are in it enough to think it’s enough. And it is until it isn’t. It is until something in your life breaks. It is until someone gets sick, your kids start acting out, your spouse leaves, or you find yourself on E staring at a fake fire at Caribou.
For me, it was my brother (and best friend) suddenly moving to Colorado after twenty years of doing life together. No amount of Craig Groeschel Leadership Podcasts could fix this dark night of the soul! I needed my own fire. And so do you.
Building a world-class ministry doesn’t happen under the lights. It starts offstage when no one’s looking, and it’s just you and God.
It’s not glamorous but it’s where God does his best work in us. Don’t wait till you hit a wall to fight for your soul. Start today!
Ask yourself, “Where am I skipping ME for the sake of ministry?”
(ME as in your own faith and/or family.) And…
“Why am I skipping ME for the sake of ministry?”
No sane leader would want that for you. But it’s on us (as leaders) to make it safe to speak up. And in my experience, speaking up is always the play.
- Do you feel like you can admit you’re struggling?
- Would someone on your team feel safe to raise their hand?
Vulnerability is risky, but the reward is connection.
In this case, it could be a lifeline. There is help for you, there is hope for you, but only if others know you’re struggling. Be brave enough to share what’s up or risk burnout.
Speaking of burnout, let’s talk about flexibility—next time.
Alright, I’m done ranting for now. Again, I felt compelled to put this out for those on your way out! If that’s you, I sincerely hope this triple-blog helps you find your “ministry mojo” again and leaves you feeling hopeful (when it’s all said and done).
There IS a way to reach more people without losing your people. Join me for the next two weeks as we discover together how to make the Church the best place to work.
- Part 2 (Coming Sept. 19th) will outline the final four reasons we struggle.
- Part 3 (Sept. 26th) will provide tools to help you run the other way and build a burnout-proof culture.
- Then back to our regular programming in October.
Thanks for reading and reacting!
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Back when I was in the music-end of things, I was witness to what leaders go through that can take its toll on a worship leader. Well intended observations from the “body!”
Why don’t we do Hymns , why are we these old songs, why repeat a song week after week. Why didn’t my wife make the worship team, she sounds good to me!
Why so many songs? Why so loud and the list goes on and on. Are people justified or just can’t their own peace.
So true, John! It can be a constant barrage of complaints. I didn’t even think of that… I’m so used to it. Hmm.
Not sure I have ever read a more insightful and timely analysis of the issue of ministry burnout. You clearly have your ear to the pulse of a body of folks who need to hear what you are saying. “Is spending time with God something I do in the office? Am I choosing it, or is it part of my job? Does it count as work? ” I believe that many of those in your line of work have asked themselves the same questions. They wonder if it is okay to “turn off” their communion with God and the Word since they already invested 8 or 10 hours. I love that you are selling into your own attitudes allowing you to accept personal responsibility while offering sound advice to others. Looking forward to the next installments!