PART 2
Welcome back to part two of this ministry-specific trilogy. If you missed part 1, click here and come back. Friendly reminder: These examples are geared towards leaders in the Church. Still, there is a definite corporate parallel if that’s you.
Now for reason #4.
4. We don’t understand flexibility
Let’s be honest; signing up for ministry is signing away your weekends. And to my surprise, many leaders struggle to see the significance and connect these dots. To me, it’s simple:
Weekends weigh more.
Adjust accordingly! Because ministry without breaks will break you.
Early in my ministry career, I was given a long leash by a leader who understood my need for autonomy as a “wild-eyed creative.” In exchange, he got my best work and loyalty for life. (Again, 18 years and counting.)
I saw firsthand the power of extending unearned trust. Someone believing in me—when I didn’t believe in me–was catalytic. It was rocket fuel for my development and changed the way I lead.
Flexibility leads to longevity.
Today, we have built-in flexibility to help us bend, not break under the weight of responsibility we carry. We recognize the weekend is a pressure cooker, so it’s about output, not hours—an area the Church can lead. After all, the flexible workplace is the future workforce. Let’s be pioneers!
Based on conversations with other church leaders, I’m well aware this is not the norm. I’m simply suggesting it needs to be—OR ELSE! Or the Church will continue to push people away who would otherwise stay. (Sorry, I lost my cool there.)
Ministry without flexibility is a recipe for burnout.
Why? Because the “big game” is on Sunday, not Tuesday. The birthday bash is Saturday night, not Monday. You miss these milestones in ministry. In return, you should never miss your kid’s school play during the week. Fair?
If you’re struggling with turnover or lack of buy-in, this might be why.
But to be clear, it must go both ways. Only counting hours on the long days is not flexibility; it’s irresponsibility. So, I remind my team often…
“Great flexibility requires great flexibility.”
A few rules for creating healthy flexibility with your team:
1. Flexibility Requires Results.
Results fuel flex—the stronger the results, the longer the leash.
- When results are in place? You get space.
- When results are NOT in place? We get in your face!
2. Flexibility Removes Effort Excuses.
Lack of preparation is a flare-gun cry for a conversation. Don’t miss it; move in and adjust as needed. Bottom line: There is no excuse for an effort issue when the leash is long. However, there is grace for days when preparation is in place.
Message to your team:
You don’t have to be perfect, but you do have to be prepared.
3. Flexibility IS UNfair.
Avoid fairness or one-size-fits-all policies at all costs. Not everyone is ready for the same length leash, but everyone is eligible. Approaching flexibility with fairness doesn’t work. Instead, manage it case-by-case and always start with some “trust on loan.”
- But what if people abuse it? The wrong people will. And ultimately, they will get churned out in a results-based culture. In contrast, self-starters who work hard will exceed your expectations when trusted to deliver.
Flexibility works best with the right people on the bus.
- But what if someone (above me) asks where they are, and I can’t account for them? Their performance is not a reflection on you, but it is dependent on your ability to be ok with that. Stand in the gap for the people you lead, and they will flourish; tie them to how you’re perceived, and they will be diminished.
Flexibility is a gift. In the Church, it should be a given BUT never taken for granted.
Because again…
Great flexibility requires great flexibility.
5. We don’t know how to include our families
In our attempt to be professional, we stiff-arm our families unnecessarily. I’ve done it, but dang it, I wanna be done… doing it.
We think “work/life balance” instead of work/life blend; when we do our families lose. As a result, they don’t understand what we do; it’s a mystery—and not the fun kind.
If you want your kids to love the Church when they grow up, find ways to pull them in now. Talk about what you do and why it matters.
If they never understand it, eventually they’ll resent it.
A couple examples…
- I was preparing a talk for our staff and needed to read through it a bunch to internalize it. Instead of holing up in my office, this time, I handed the manuscript to my oldest daughter to read back to me—in her best impression of me—on the way to hockey practice. It was hilarious! She felt included. I felt offended and supported.
How can YOU incorporate your kids, spouse, or sig other more?
- When someone on your team brings a kid to the office, do you hiss and say, “coverage fell through, huh?” Or do you get on their kids’ level and offer them a cup of coffee and a place to work (color)? There is only one response. Cuz you got one shot; do not; opportunity knocks…
Now, I’m not suggesting we all forgo childcare in the name of “work-life blend,” but if your family never gets to peak behind the curtain, they may grow up hating the wizard…? Ok, the analogy broke down. Or did it?
Remove the mystery whenever possible.
- A few weeks ago, we hung around after the service chatting and my youngest daughter, Rose (the fiercest of the four), found her way on stage. What happened next is it—instead of shooing her away, our lighting guy dialed in a spotlight just for her. We all turned as she danced in delight and I watched her love for the Church grow.
That two-minute experience will fuel Rose for months. Have you found a way to blend your family in?
6. We think it’s on us.
If the gates of hell won’t overcome the Church, why would you think it hinges on being in every decision and at every service? You’re not that good, neither am I, and that’s not the point!
If your church lives and dies on the success of a single weekend, it’s not strong enough.
Remove the lid.
Some of you need to hear this hard truth: You’re burning out because you think you’re more important than you are. I’ve been there. I’ll probably be there again. That need-to-be-needed mindset is as unhelpful as it is untrue. And it officially makes you the lid to whatever you lead.
Let off the gas.
Some of you need to give the people you lead permission to take their foot off the gas; some of you need to give yourself permission. And for all the overachievers who just threw up their hands, I present the stick-shift analogy:
You will never reach the fastest gear without pushing in the clutch, and you can't push in the clutch without taking your foot off the gas at regular intervals.
Sounds like a rhythm of rest.
Rest is proactive; recovery is reactive.
A few ways to be proactive off the top of my head:
- Don’t wait for a breakdown to give a break.
- Don’t wait for a breakdown to take a break.
- Don’t wait for goodbye cake to give praise.
- Don’t wait for a resignation to offer a raise.
Break the never-ending cycle.
Why is this so important in ministry? Remember that movie “The never-ending story?” What a gift of a film. “Atreyu!” Flying dog. It had it all. Ministry IS the never-ending story. Sunday’s coming. Always. Before you can even celebrate that homerun weekend, Sunday’s asking what’s next? (“How bout a flying dog?” Hmm, is that memorable enough?)
Play the longer game.
If we don’t find a way to make it sustainable, the Church will continue churning through great people. It’s on us to admit it’s not on us. Once we do, we can lead with an urgency connected to reality.
God may not need you, but you are needed.
Your spouse needs you; your kids need you, and your work will leave you as soon as you stop delivering. Well, maybe that’s extreme. But just in case, I don’t put my lava lamp in my office.
As much as I love my job, I remind myself “It’s just a job.” If that feels sacrilegious, I’m guessing your office is fully decorated. Am I wrong?
Take a break, or you’ll break. Give people permission to let off the gas when needed and watch what happens. That’s how we play the long game, the only game worth playing (especially in light of eternity). But I digress.
Alright, deep breath… This last one could offend some. But I gotta go there because it’s present everywhere there’s turnover. Next week.
Thanks for reading and reacting!
In part 3, you can expect reason #7 (it’s a biggie) and a deep dive into what the wisest King to ever live understood about leading people. I believe his instinct is the bedrock to building a burnout-proof culture. In the meantime, I’d love to hear your take on this topic. Why is burnout so pervasive? What have you experienced?
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“If the gates of hell won’t overcome the Church, why would you think it hinges on being in every decision and at every service? You’re not that good, neither am I, and that’s not the point.”
Learn it early, repeat it often. So good.