Leaders Are Languishing
Think about your last few 1:1’s or heart-to-hearts with other leaders. How are they doing? How are you doing?
Crash and burnout
I’ve vacillated between the edge-of-glory and the brink-of-burnout for almost 18 years at a large church. Pretty standard stuff.
It’s been a steady ride of learning, listening (sometimes squirming), and occasionally watching someone crash. That is until a few years ago when the whole world changed.
Feelings of burnout are as common today as pensions were back in the day. There is a distinctly different despair in the air.
Can you feel it?
None of us are immune; we ALL need tools.
This blog will give you 6 mind shifts that helped me through seasons of insanity.
You heard me—six, one better than five! (spinal tap fans?)
More importantly, these same shifts supersized my influence! I just didn’t know it till later. I want that for you. As always, I’m writing to myself too… Let’s go!
Under The Radar And Over The Moon
I was hired in 2005. My salary negotiations consisted of me saying, “You can pay me in flexibility.” It worked. For years I enjoyed my low-stress, even-less-responsibility role of playing guitar. I was under the radar and “lovin’ every minute of it, Jerry.”
I never set out to lead. Just rock.
Lost in space
All that drastically changed when a big-dog leader left, and the power vacuum almost sucked our entire team into outer space.
Suddenly, we were stuck in a black hole of preferences and town hall-style debates about direction. I reluctantly stepped in to help repair our spacecraft and get us back to Earth… (i.e., lead.) But there was no going back…
I was a suit. In killer jeans. My biggest fear.
Trading flexibility for responsibility
A few years in, I felt like a can of Aqua Net, ready to explode and destroy the ozone! My job had gone from cake to all-consuming fire! And I began wondering if I could get a demotion. Can you relate!?
But then something remarkable happened.
I let go. That’s right! I finally set down the weight (because I had to) and embraced one simple mindset:
“I am 100% replaceable.”
That’s when everything changed.
Unfortunately, for too many leaders, work is their life. So, letting go feels like career suicide. It’s the opposite.
Rude Awakening
My friend and mentor, Ray, passed away suddenly in August 2022. And in my mind, the only appropriate response was to shut down EVERYTHING, maybe forever. But that didn’t happen.
You know what did happen?
- Church the following weekend
- Work the following Monday
- Business as usual…
…only without one of my favorite humans on the planet.
The unmistakable lesson: The train of life stops for no one.
Not Ray, not you, and not me.
It barely slows down.
Disposable Linchpins
No disrespect to Seth Godin, the purple cow of thought leadership, but I’ve worked hard to be a “linchpin” while knowing there’s no such thing.
You and I expire either by choice or by force.
Doesn’t matter how good you are or long you’ve been around. You could be a rising star or total asteroid. We all have an expiration date!
Unavoidable Fact: Your shoes will be filled—as soon as possible—when you leave, quit, or get fired.
It feels wrong because you didn’t realize it was just a job. You made it more than it was meant to be. I made it more than it was. WE let it become our identity, an idol. And now I’m here to tell you, “It’s just a job! A job someone else can do—maybe better than you.”
Thankfully you are NOT your work. You know that, right?
More like sheer pins
I’ve seen it over and over. Kingpins leave, we think it’s the end… and it’s a blip. And that doesn’t diminish their brilliance but should remind us of our own insignificance. Like the sheer pin on my snowblower, another one is waiting in the wings.
You ARE replaceable.
Is that harsh? No, hard to hear, maybe. But really, it should motivate us to reorder our priorities and check our loyalties. For me, it’s faith, family, then work. When I’m unhealthy, it reads in reverse. Yours might look different, but if work is first, watch out.
Again, you are replaceable!
The million-dollar question: Will we let that truth hurt our feelings or help us find the right grip pressure for our work?
Hard Stop!
To be clear, the role you play is replaceable. You are not.
Not to your spouse. Not to your kids. Not to your parents. Not to your closest friends and family. And that’s about it.
Realizing you are replaceable right sizes your perspective.
Adjust accordingly. But how?
6 Ways To Beat Burnout AND Supersize Your Influence
1. Embrace Your Own Replaceability
The people who feel irreplaceable have accepted they are. Ultimately, you are a seat warmer for whoever’s next. So make it toasty BUT don’t get too comfy!
The good news? Accept your seat-warmer-status, and you’ll be knighted with a new mindset that can change your life and leadership.
This mindset shift:
- gives you an edge over the “YOU” that found too much identity in your “DO.”
- frees you from the shackles of perception and performance.
Before we can lead from a place of security, we must embrace our own replaceability.
2. Separate Your “WHO” From “DO”
As I loosened my grip, my instincts got better, my thinking sharper. Less effort led to more influence. (effortLESS.)
How is that possible? I’ll tell you! I found a healthy amount of decoupling who I am from what I do. No more confusing my work with my worth.
Everything was less personal. In turn, I was more professional. Not stiff. Just less bothered by divergent opinions and less intent on getting everyone to agree. I had swagger. Maybe. Probably not. But I was free.
Are you free?
3. Resize Your Role In Your Mind
Remember “It’s just lunch… (shrug)”??? Talk about a genius reframing of an area we overthink—dating!
Old mindset: “I’m looking for a spouse who will complete me and meet my carefully curated criteria.”
New mindset: “I’m not really looking to date, but we all need to eat, right?”
Is it even a question who wins? Exactly. Kiss dating goodbye, become Casanova. We know this!!!!
Unexpected influence
Well, “It’s just a job” works the same way—relieve the pressure; find your swagger.
When I was in that aqua net state of mind, “It’s just a job” and “I’m replaceable” were mantras on repeat that resized my effort. As Jon Acuff would say, they were the “soundtracks” I needed to survive AND the start of supersizing my influence.
Maybe you need to remind yourself, “It’s just a job!”
In ministry, that might feel sacrilegious or like “quiet quitting” in the corporate world. Both are wrong! This soundtrack is not for the bored; it is a reminder for the languishing, the overextended, the tired, and the weary. If that’s you: “It’s just a job.”
That doesn’t minimize the power of the mission or the purpose it brings; it right sizes the role you play in it.
4. Try Smarter
Greg McKeown, author of “Essentialism,” recently posted about this phenomenon.
The old mindset is maximum effort = maximum results.
The inconvenient truth though is that this doesn’t work. It’s a limiting mental model. We’ve been conned. What actually works is the 85-percent rule.
Instead of trying to go all-out 100 percent (which causes strain not gain) you operate at 85 percent of your capacity.
So, to be oddly specific, loosen your mental grip from 100 to 85%. Then do your best-unencumbered work.
Work smarter; die harder.
5. Raise A Forest Of Reinforcements
When you are the tallest tree in the forest, it starves the trees around you. Sure, the sun feels good for a while, but eventually, you realize you’re alone AND THE LID!
Instead of cutting yourself down to size, raise others up to your height by sharing the sun and spreading the love.
For example:
- share the credit AND spread the opportunities
- share the limelight AND spread the weight
- share the decision-making AND the spread risk
If everything must go through you, that makes you a logjam, not a linchpin.
Don’t be that tree.
It takes a forest
Get out of the way and other trees will stay longer and grow taller. Trees that are not you. Trees that can help you. Trees that might grow taller than you someday with enough spotlight, I mean sunlight.
And that can be threatening until you realize:
More trees, more free!
This is why: The more replaceable you are, the more invaluable you become.
Your organization wants that from you; I want that for you.
6. Cut The Noise, Find Your Voice
Erwin McManus brilliantly talks about the 7 frequencies of communication.
I humbly submit to you and Erwin (if he’s reading) that we can unknowingly distort our frequency IF we don’t die to the idea that everything hinges on us.
First, it’s never true unless you’re a complete micro-manager. And second, believing the lie does more than distort your reality; it adds noise to your voice.
Noise sounds like:
- desperation from overexertion
- joyless expectations (on yourself and others)
- neediness vs. openness to what’s needed
Adam Grant says, “A key to avoiding burnout is deciding what doesn’t matter.”
Most things don’t. In fact, very few things move the needle; everything else is noise.
Lies To Unlearn
- Burnout happens when we believe “it’s up to us.” It’s not.
- When we believe “this can’t go on without me.” It can.
- When we convince ourselves “it won’t work if we don’t.” Wow.
Don’t believe me? See what happens when you take a day off or call in sick. What you’ll find… is nothing. Nothing happens! Again, everything will be ok. You are not that important!
Go to the mall.
If you never take a break, you will break.
Work/Life Out-Of-Balance
A final plea for those of you still carrying the weight of the world as a badge of honor. If you don’t learn to let go (in a healthy way), this is how it feels to work with you…
There's a sense that your life depends on “it”—every email, decision, meeting, and interaction. EVERYONE feels it. It's all too important, weighty, serious, and you are NO FUN to be around. Everybody knows it, but you. Also, no one would dare tell you because it’s too personal… for you. And that’s the problem.
When work is your life, your life doesn’t work.
So, if work is all-consuming and you feel like a can of Aqua Net—about to burst—ask yourself WHY.
- Does it need to be?
- Are you making it more than it is?
- Are you squeezing out the joy for no reason?
- Are you gripping too tightly to something that could let you go at a moment’s notice?
When our life is no longer our work, our work becomes part of our life’s work. Then we do our BEST work. Yet another paradox of life that reminds me of a favorite Bible verse with a twist… “Whoever clings to this JOB will lose it, and whoever loses this JOB will ENJOY it.”
It took me too long to figure that out.
Leadership is hard. Don’t make it harder.
Let go and get going!
THANKS FOR READING!
- I don’t take it for granted and would love to hear YOUR thoughts in the COMMENTS. 👨💻
- My goal is to help you skip the steps that tripped me up. IF this was helpful, would you SHARE it on your socials? 🚀
- HIT ME UP at [email protected] for coaching and speaking inquiries. 📈
- Lastly, SUBSCRIBE below and join this tribe of leaders. It’s time. 🤝
No spam and no regrets. 👇
