Category: Approach

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The 7 Deadly Self-Preservation Tendencies And How To Overcome Them

Part 3 of Speaking Up

So why is speaking up REALLY becoming a “lost” art, increasingly rare, borderline extinct? One word (with a hyphen): Self-preservation.

So far, we’ve covered the importance of speaking up—reasons we don’t, reasons we should—and the influence that follows. Click here to read Part 1, Part 2.

Now let’s probe a layer deeper into the thing behind the thing that’s keeping you from speaking up, sabotaging your decision-making, and “protecting” you from LEADING! 

This blog will outline 7 deadly self-preservation tendencies that hold us back from maximum impact so you can identify yours.
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How To Lead Friends And Fools (Without Losing Your Cool)

fools and friends on a bike.

The transition.

I can’t think of a more awkward transition than friend to boss. I’d rather have adult braces. Which I do! If you haven’t experienced this unique discomfort yet, you will. Just wait. (not the braces)   

And…

Leading a fool will make you feel CRAZY; it’s a fast-track to questioning your own sanity.

Answer: “No, you’re dealing with foolery.”

Lead people long enough and you will lead friends AND fools. This blog will give you the tools to navigate both (without losing friendships or your mind).

Each requires something different:

Fools need “rules,” and friends need “real.”

Let’s dive in, friend first. (It’s easier.)

Continue reading “How To Lead Friends And Fools (Without Losing Your Cool)”
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This Is Not My First Rodeo Leadership

Moving From Proving To Improving

Have you noticed—no matter what kind of work you’re having done on your house—the person giving you a bid always rips on the work that’s already been done?

Is there a drywall guy on the planet that thinks someone else’s work is good?

No one comes in and says, “Well, it looks like the drywall was done by a pro.”

Usually, it sounds more like…

“Well, whoever did this must have been completely insane, possibly drunk and a bonified ‘hack,’ BUT we can rip it all out, do the same thing and keep this cycle of insanity going if you’d like. You are lucky to be alive.”

“Also, this is not my first rodeo.”

Proving mode: A state of needing everyone to know that you know.

This is not just a drywall problem; this is an occupational hazard that permeates every profession at any level of the org chart. It’s one of the least talked about, most pervasive reasons people don’t thrive in their careers.

None of us are safe from it and becoming it. Our inner ‘know-it all’ is one weak moment away from making us walk the proving plank. So, the faster we recognize it, the sooner we can “knock it off!” Then improving can begin.

This blog will outline three overly practical steps to help eliminate the urge to tell people it's not your first rodeo. And more importantly, help you start moving from proving to improving.
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The Best Question Ever And How To Help Others Grow

funny face.

Lead or be liked is bogus.

No doubt, one of the most challenging parts of leadership is facing into the conversations no one else will, but someone must. It’s also the most rewarding.

That’s where it’s at.

Growth happens in the last one percent, in the ‘thing behind the thing’ that most are unwilling to point out. And that’s why—leaders say what peers wish someone would say to their co-workers.

Unfortunately, that means not everyone will like you; but they will have to respect you—if you do it well.

I’m human.

I like to be liked, but I’ve learned to love watching others soar more.

So how do we help others grow? 

We care enough to share what’s holding them back and walk with them through whatever’s next.

When we do that, they begin to grow. And when your people start growing, they have no interest in going anywhere.

Simple right?

But there’s a catch.

If you don’t genuinely care, you need to focus there first. And possibly buy a nice tent. After that, it might be time for some camping.

That will make sense later. I promise.

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How To Build A Fear LESS Feedback Culture Part 2

PART 2 “What You See Is What You Say.”

Feedback is the ongoing conversation of an organization and one of the most OBVIOUS indicators of cultural health. It’s the dialogue of development.

Tragically, we can go for years without paying any attention to how that convo is being handled.

It can become a routine part of the job; even if it’s toxic, it’s just what we do. Or worse, it’s who we think we are.

It’s not.

You might just need a new view, which is what this blog is all about.

If you missed PART 1, you can read it here.

To Review…

Fear less feedback is helpful, not hurtful; it’s timely and ‘for the love,’ fixable. It’s motivated by the desire to help others grow and develop. And most importantly, it’s rooted in relationship.  

Give that kind of feedback consistently over time, and people will begin to fear less and hear more.

Simple right?

But what if your culture is past the point of tweaks and needs a full-on pile driver? 

This post will help leaders change the type of feedback they are getting by changing the questions they are asking, which becomes the lens for everything.
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How to lead people through trying-times online (with no regrets).

bw image of code

I can’t be the only one who’s gotten that unsolicited weekly usage report from my iPhone and thought the average time was for the week—not the day.

…Luckily, I’m able to quickly justify it because of my insatiable desire to learn through long-form podcasts.

Yes, I’m delusional, but so are you!

Most of us are online a lot of the time. 

Somewhere along the line we became unhinged from our ‘digital self.’

We started to believe we could say and do things online because that was just our shadow self, our avatar.

We get into weird arguments and draw hard lines. We barge into conversations with high passion and ‘low to no expertise’ and then scratch our heads in disbelief when it’s not embraced. It’s madness. But why?  

Would we do that in real life?

How often do you find yourself arguing with someone at the grocery store? When’s the last time you insulted your neighbor? “Hey Scott, the guy you voted for is an idiot!”

The answer should be never, I hope! But it happens all the time online.

Here’s the problem: Who you are online is who you are.

Continue reading “How to lead people through trying-times online (with no regrets).”
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Mandatory Influence (Please Read Now!)

The Art Of Requiring Participation.

Every time I receive an email in outlook with a high-priority flag and a required response, I giggle. So, what you’re saying is, “I care about this thing a lot, but I don’t have time to write an email that will convince you of its importance. Instead, I’m forcing you to respond whether you care or not.”

Got it!

The bummer is that they will never know who would have responded uncoerced and what they could have done better next time.

Two big misses!  

Make it mandatory and you’ll never know if you could have led through it.

Make it mandatory and you’ll never know if you could have led through it. Share on X Continue reading “Mandatory Influence (Please Read Now!)”