Category: Influence

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How To Beat Protect-Your-Own-Butt Leadership

Part 4 of Speaking Up

Welcome to Part 4 of this growing mini-series aimed at convincing you that protecting your career path is killing your potential.

If you’ve been following along, hopefully, you’ve identified your primary method of preservation—the one that sabotages your decision-making and causes you to shrink back when you should speak up. You are doing the work to suppress that internal urge to put yourself first. Well done! 

If not, click here to read Seven Deadly Methods Of Self-Preservation, then come back! By the way, this is not just a “YOU problem.” This is a human problem, a shared instinct every leader must defeat. 

It’s only when we let go of the illusion of job security that we can lead with the kind of reckless vulnerability needed to make a difference.

And when I say vulnerability (in this case), I don’t mean sharing embarrassing feelings; I mean putting your neck on the line for someone else. 

This blog is for you…

  • IF you’re afraid to do what you (and everybody else) know needs to happen.
  • IF you worry about what others will think if you address the elephant in the room or tip the sacred cow.
  • And finally, IF you’re tired of playing it safe and ready to make an elephant-sized impact, this blog is for you!
giant elephant sized impact
This blog will help you understand your desire to self-protect so you can rewire it. Because playing it safe is riskier than you think, it's costing you influence.

Let’s dive in!

Continue reading “How To Beat Protect-Your-Own-Butt Leadership”
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The 7 Deadly Self-Preservation Tendencies And How To Overcome Them

Part 3 of Speaking Up

So why is speaking up REALLY becoming a “lost” art, increasingly rare, borderline extinct? One word (with a hyphen): Self-preservation.

So far, we’ve covered the importance of speaking up—reasons we don’t, reasons we should—and the influence that follows. Click here to read Part 1, Part 2.

Now let’s probe a layer deeper into the thing behind the thing that’s keeping you from speaking up, sabotaging your decision-making, and “protecting” you from LEADING! 

This blog will outline 7 deadly self-preservation tendencies that hold us back from maximum impact so you can identify yours.
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Why Speaking Up Is The One Skill That Will Separate You As A Leader

PART 2: Reasons TO Speak Up

Welcome back to part 2 of my first-ever quad blog. Why four? Because in my experience, speaking up is the most underused and overlooked skill every leader must learn. Let’s change that. 

But first… 

I was saddened to hear how many of you feel unsafe being honest in the aftermath of PART 1. That is beyond tragic. So many organizations are leaving so much on the table thanks to a few insecure leaders who would rather feel in charge than face reality. And yet, I still believe it’s a win to say what needs to be said. Let me explain… 

Speaking up will either lead to influence OR information. 

How it’s received speaks volumes. For example, “Thanks for sharing, we are better for it” or “Please don’t share cuz’ we don’t care” are both helpful. One encourages you to keep going; the other confirms you should get going—update your resume, get coffee with a connection, finally join LinkedIn. (If you do, I’m @dkholvig. Let’s connect!)  

Second, I want to acknowledge that speaking up is a layered skill that requires more than just a willingness. However, this blog series is more about noticing the current vacuum around speaking up and the direct connection to leaders who feel stuck. 

This blog will outline 3 reasons TO speak up and what can happen when you DO. 

We’ve already discussed the reasons we don’t speak up, the complexity of not speaking up, and the paradoxical reality of raising your voice. If you missed that, click here. 

Now, I present the 3 biggest reasons TO speak up…

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The One Skill That Will Separate You As A Leader

taped mouth

The Cost Of Silence

Nine times out of ten, a lack of leadership plays out in silence, not mistakes. It might be a quiet submission, but the impact is loud. 

For some of you, staying quiet IS the reason you feel stuck—wondering why you still don’t have a seat at the table—after years of faithfully showing up. 

Truth is, you’ve been a conduit of other people’s instincts, a messenger of decisions, and a “loyal” employee. But you haven’t been leading because you haven’t been sharing YOUR UNIQUE INSIGHT. 

Part 1 of this "quad-blog" will begin to make the case that NOT speaking up IS keeping you from maximum impact.
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7 Reasons Ministry Leaders Are Burning Out And How To Run The Other Way Part 3

floating away.

PART 3 “Mission Failure”

Welcome to part 3 of this ministry leader trilogy! If you missed the setup, click PART 1 or PART 2 now. Let’s tackle the final reason we are struggling with burnout and what to do instead. 

REMINDER: This blog is geared for leaders in the Church. If that's not you we'll be back soon.

Also, this next one could offend some. But I gotta go there because it’s present everywhere there’s turnover. K-here goes nothing.

Continue reading “7 Reasons Ministry Leaders Are Burning Out And How To Run The Other Way Part 3”
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Beat Burnout AND Supersize Your Influence With One Simple Mindset

Leaders Are Languishing

Think about your last few 1:1’s or heart-to-hearts with other leaders. How are they doing? How are you doing?

Crash and burnout

I’ve vacillated between the edge-of-glory and the brink-of-burnout for almost 18 years at a large church. Pretty standard stuff.

It’s been a steady ride of learning, listening (sometimes squirming), and occasionally watching someone crash. That is until a few years ago when the whole world changed.

Feelings of burnout are as common today as pensions were back in the day. There is a distinctly different despair in the air.

Can you feel it?

None of us are immune; we ALL need tools.

This blog will give you 6 mind shifts that helped me through seasons of insanity.

You heard me—six, one better than five! (spinal tap fans?)

More importantly, these same shifts supersized my influence! I just didn’t know it till later. I want that for you. As always, I’m writing to myself too… Let’s go!

Continue reading “Beat Burnout AND Supersize Your Influence With One Simple Mindset”
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This Is Not My First Rodeo Leadership

Moving From Proving To Improving

Have you noticed—no matter what kind of work you’re having done on your house—the person giving you a bid always rips on the work that’s already been done?

Is there a drywall guy on the planet that thinks someone else’s work is good?

No one comes in and says, “Well, it looks like the drywall was done by a pro.”

Usually, it sounds more like…

“Well, whoever did this must have been completely insane, possibly drunk and a bonified ‘hack,’ BUT we can rip it all out, do the same thing and keep this cycle of insanity going if you’d like. You are lucky to be alive.”

“Also, this is not my first rodeo.”

Proving mode: A state of needing everyone to know that you know.

This is not just a drywall problem; this is an occupational hazard that permeates every profession at any level of the org chart. It’s one of the least talked about, most pervasive reasons people don’t thrive in their careers.

None of us are safe from it and becoming it. Our inner ‘know-it all’ is one weak moment away from making us walk the proving plank. So, the faster we recognize it, the sooner we can “knock it off!” Then improving can begin.

This blog will outline three overly practical steps to help eliminate the urge to tell people it's not your first rodeo. And more importantly, help you start moving from proving to improving.
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3 Ways To Unlock A Gen-Z Friendly Culture Today

PART 1

Generation Z is leaving. That’s right. Gen-Z is now running late to the office if you’re lucky… or happen to be a “Gen-Z friendly culture.”

A scary number of them are planning their goodbye parties, which we all know only happens if you’ve been around for AT LEAST ten years (twenty in Gen-Z years). Sixty-five percent of Gen-Z plan to quit their job this year. Yikes!

So, if we’re going to convince them to stick around, we’ve got to hurry up and find a way to lead them… right?

Wrong.

Before we can lead them, we need to find a way to love them.

  • If you just rolled your eyes, this blog’s for you!
  • And if you quietly said “Amen,” this blog’s about you.
This two-part blog series will outline three shifts that will help you unlock a Gen-Z friendly culture today.

Also, these shifts are no longer suggestions; they are ‘make or break’ for Gen-Z.

Good news—every ‘Gen’ will appreciate them. After two years of constant covid change, there’s no better time to make some moves.  

Hint: It has nothing to do with ping-pong tables and flexibility. That’s icing. First, we must build the cake.

Continue reading “3 Ways To Unlock A Gen-Z Friendly Culture Today”
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How to lead people through trying-times online (with no regrets).

bw image of code

I can’t be the only one who’s gotten that unsolicited weekly usage report from my iPhone and thought the average time was for the week—not the day.

…Luckily, I’m able to quickly justify it because of my insatiable desire to learn through long-form podcasts.

Yes, I’m delusional, but so are you!

Most of us are online a lot of the time. 

Somewhere along the line we became unhinged from our ‘digital self.’

We started to believe we could say and do things online because that was just our shadow self, our avatar.

We get into weird arguments and draw hard lines. We barge into conversations with high passion and ‘low to no expertise’ and then scratch our heads in disbelief when it’s not embraced. It’s madness. But why?  

Would we do that in real life?

How often do you find yourself arguing with someone at the grocery store? When’s the last time you insulted your neighbor? “Hey Scott, the guy you voted for is an idiot!”

The answer should be never, I hope! But it happens all the time online.

Here’s the problem: Who you are online is who you are.

Continue reading “How to lead people through trying-times online (with no regrets).”
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Mandatory Influence (Please Read Now!)

The Art Of Requiring Participation.

Every time I receive an email in outlook with a high-priority flag and a required response, I giggle. So, what you’re saying is, “I care about this thing a lot, but I don’t have time to write an email that will convince you of its importance. Instead, I’m forcing you to respond whether you care or not.”

Got it!

The bummer is that they will never know who would have responded uncoerced and what they could have done better next time.

Two big misses!  

Make it mandatory and you’ll never know if you could have led through it.

Make it mandatory and you’ll never know if you could have led through it. Share on X Continue reading “Mandatory Influence (Please Read Now!)”