The Cost Of Silence
Nine times out of ten, a lack of leadership plays out in silence, not mistakes. It might be a quiet submission, but the impact is loud.
For some of you, staying quiet IS the reason you feel stuck—wondering why you still don’t have a seat at the table—after years of faithfully showing up.
Truth is, you’ve been a conduit of other people’s instincts, a messenger of decisions, and a “loyal” employee. But you haven’t been leading because you haven’t been sharing YOUR UNIQUE INSIGHT.
Part 1 of this "quad-blog" will begin to make the case that NOT speaking up IS keeping you from maximum impact.
Leaders Speak Up
Most leaders are managers in disguise. And yes, I’m using the derogatory form of the word manager and I do understand there is a place for management, just not in this blog.
The difference comes down to this one learned skill: Speaking up!
The Difficulty Of Speaking Up
Lots of leaders are good at speaking down the org chart. Very few know how to speak up the org chart. Wait, is that a “double entendre”!!!????? Did I do it????
Leading means speaking up for what’s right on behalf of the people you are responsible for. However, I’m not suggesting every leader enjoys speaking truth, especially to power. I’m just saying they’re willing.
Like most humans, I dread hard conversations. I don’t seek out conflict, but I’ve identified when and why I tend to avoid those things, so I don’t. (More on that next blog.)
Now when I speak up, it’s more an act of obedience than bravery.
The Necessity Of Speaking Up
Speaking up sparks change. Those moments of forcing myself to engage have proven to be the ballgame—where major league change occurs. That’s where decisions are made, minds are changed, and ideas are won and lost.
“Speak-up moments” are your chance to go to bat for the principles you hold and the people you lead. (End baseball lingo, begin battle language.)
It’s not about being fearless; it’s about being aware of your tendency to flee when you should fight and pre-deciding to enlist your inner “Lincoln Lawyer” or William Wallace instead.
Full disclosure: I’m listening to the Braveheart soundtrack as I write this.
Let’s get more practical…
The Complexity Of Speaking Up
Managers ask what’s best for the organization. But what is best for the organization is one of several questions we must ask. Never the only one. For example, a decision that seems best for the organization but would lead to a mass exodus on your team is, ultimately, BAD for the organization. Simple right?
Option A: Roll it out and hope no one on your team questions it.
Or option B: Speak up.
In this case…
1. Don’t expect the people above you to understand every possible ripple effect of a decision. Make the case! No one else understands the reality of your area better than you.
If you lead a team, it’s your job to spell out the fallout.
2. If you blindly follow orders and accept uninformed decisions without speaking up, don’t blame your boss when employees leave. That’s on you.
What if they don’t want to hear what I have to say?
The way someone above you might respond is not your concern; if anything, let the repercussions of staying quiet keep you up at night.
Leaders worth following speak up when it’s easier to shut up, even when it’s personally advantageous to stay quiet. Consistently doing that earns trust and respect from employees, peers, and eventually superiors.
Leaders Speak UP AND DOWN.
As my brother (and cobra twin) Kev says, “A yes man is a no man.” (or woman) Which, let’s be honest, usually means a yes man is a no man to someone lower on the org chart.
Leaders say yes and no above and below.
So, when you’re asked (or tasked) with something you know won’t work, will tank your team, or end badly for the organization, SAY SOMETHING! And not to everyone except the only one who can do something about it.
- Your voice is needed.
- You are in a position of leadership for a reason.
- Your team depends on your choice to use your voice, and so does the organization you serve.
Speak up.
Staying quiet is not in the job description.
Your first job is to lead your team, which includes saying yes and no at times. All one way or the other is a red flag!
Question: How often do you push back? If the answer is never, I would argue the organization is losing out on your unique perspective and leadership. Let’s look at some reasons we shrink back and change that.
Reasons We Don’t Speak Up
1. FEAR
Speaking up requires courage and the ability to articulate the unintended consequences of a decision under pressure. Not easy. We don’t because we’re scared. We don’t wanna rock the boat or cause conflict, and we certainly don’t want to get fired. All possibilities. All opportunities.
Real leaders want to know what’s true; cheer leaders just want the good news.
Always assume you are dealing with the real deal until proven otherwise. And take comfort in the fact that real leaders recognize their need for reality and will respect you more for dealing in it. (reality that is) They will thank you for it!
Speaking up is as necessary as it is scary.
2. EGO
Ego cares too much about perception, status, and position to be trusted. Left unchecked, it will wreck you; let it drive, and you’ll only speak up for yourself.
The problem: People won’t follow you if you only fight for you.
Speaking up means caring more about the people you lead than your ego.
3. IGNORANCE
In some cases, leaders don’t realize it’s their job.
Speaking up is the primary vehicle by which people experience your leadership. Not email, not a document, and fortunately for me, not zero inbox. (someday) Those things matter but they don’t move the needle.
Side rant: You are not changing hearts and minds through email. It’s time to accept the fact that people skim or skip email. It might not be you, but it is true. Be done.
And if your solution is to make it mandatory, urgent, or high priority, check out this blog called Mandatory Influence.
To go a step further…
Your instincts are revealed as much by when you choose to speak up as what you say.
Speaking up IS leading up.
4. AMBITION
We are too focused on climbing the ladder. And nothing slows down a possible promotion more than saying no to the people who can promote you, right?
Yes and no. The path of least resistance can be faster, but a road paved with yesses will eventually require noes, especially if you make it to the top. THEN WHAT!!???
Speaking up is caring more about the people you lead than your career.
The Paradox of Speaking Up
If speaking up was easy, it wouldn’t necessitate a blog, let alone a quad blog!
Speaking up requires boldness and discretion—a rare combination of recklessness and precision—simply to utter the words. Then, enough humility to accept “No” for an answer. It’s the hardest thing every leader must learn.
Speaking up doesn’t guarantee you’ll get your way, but it does give you the peace of mind that comes with knowing you did everything you could.
My biggest leadership regrets are the times I shrank back and swallowed my tongue instead of my pride. The only thing riskier than speaking up is saying nothing.
Before winning, we must be willing. Willing to say yes and no above and below based on what’s right, not what’s convenient. Do that long enough and you will earn trust, build credibility, and gain influence—above AND below.
Maybe for you, it’s asking yourself, “What would William Wallace do?” WWWWD? I can tell you what he wouldn’t do is worry about documentation. Sorry! I know there’s a time and place for that. Again, just not in this blog.
He would yell, “FREEDOM!” Translation: He would speak up.
In the end, your team may never know the extent of the battles you wage on their behalf. But you will. And when your head hits the pillow after a good battle, you can rest assured you did everything in your power—and sleep like a baby. In my case, a baby with a CPAP.
Thanks for reading and reacting!
Part 2 will focus on all the reasons TO speak up and what will happen if you DO. Make sure to subscribe below so you are notified as soon as it is released!
In the meantime, let me know what you’ve learned about speaking up in the comments below. If someone you know is bursting with potential but needs a little boost in the bravery department, send them this blog!
If you’re reading this, I’m so grateful you would take the time. Wow. I’ve come close several times to giving up on this thing, but a text or comment from one of you was enough to keep me going. So thank you for that!
Well said brother!