The 7 Deadly Self-Preservation Tendencies And How To Overcome Them

Part 3 of Speaking Up

So why is speaking up REALLY becoming a “lost” art, increasingly rare, borderline extinct? One word (with a hyphen): Self-preservation.

So far, we’ve covered the importance of speaking up—reasons we don’t, reasons we should—and the influence that follows. Click here to read Part 1, Part 2.

Now let’s probe a layer deeper into the thing behind the thing that’s keeping you from speaking up, sabotaging your decision-making, and “protecting” you from LEADING! 

This blog will outline 7 deadly self-preservation tendencies that hold us back from maximum impact so you can identify yours.
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Why Speaking Up Is The One Skill That Will Separate You As A Leader

PART 2: Reasons TO Speak Up

Welcome back to part 2 of my first-ever quad blog. Why four? Because in my experience, speaking up is the most underused and overlooked skill every leader must learn. Let’s change that. 

But first… 

I was saddened to hear how many of you feel unsafe being honest in the aftermath of PART 1. That is beyond tragic. So many organizations are leaving so much on the table thanks to a few insecure leaders who would rather feel in charge than face reality. And yet, I still believe it’s a win to say what needs to be said. Let me explain… 

Speaking up will either lead to influence OR information. 

How it’s received speaks volumes. For example, “Thanks for sharing, we are better for it” or “Please don’t share cuz’ we don’t care” are both helpful. One encourages you to keep going; the other confirms you should get going—update your resume, get coffee with a connection, finally join LinkedIn. (If you do, I’m @dkholvig. Let’s connect!)  

Second, I want to acknowledge that speaking up is a layered skill that requires more than just a willingness. However, this blog series is more about noticing the current vacuum around speaking up and the direct connection to leaders who feel stuck. 

This blog will outline 3 reasons TO speak up and what can happen when you DO. 

We’ve already discussed the reasons we don’t speak up, the complexity of not speaking up, and the paradoxical reality of raising your voice. If you missed that, click here. 

Now, I present the 3 biggest reasons TO speak up…

Continue reading “Why Speaking Up Is The One Skill That Will Separate You As A Leader”

The One Skill That Will Separate You As A Leader

taped mouth

The Cost Of Silence

Nine times out of ten, a lack of leadership plays out in silence, not mistakes. It might be a quiet submission, but the impact is loud. 

For some of you, staying quiet IS the reason you feel stuck—wondering why you still don’t have a seat at the table—after years of faithfully showing up. 

Truth is, you’ve been a conduit of other people’s instincts, a messenger of decisions, and a “loyal” employee. But you haven’t been leading because you haven’t been sharing YOUR UNIQUE INSIGHT. 

Part 1 of this "quad-blog" will begin to make the case that NOT speaking up IS keeping you from maximum impact.
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7 Reasons Ministry Leaders Are Burning Out And How To Run The Other Way Part 3

floating away.

PART 3 “Mission Failure”

Welcome to part 3 of this ministry leader trilogy! If you missed the setup, click PART 1 or PART 2 now. Let’s tackle the final reason we are struggling with burnout and what to do instead.

REMINDER: This blog is geared for leaders in the Church. If that's not you we'll be back soon. 

Also, this next one could offend some. But I gotta go there because it’s present everywhere there’s turnover. K-here goes nothing.

Continue reading “7 Reasons Ministry Leaders Are Burning Out And How To Run The Other Way Part 3”

7 Reasons Ministry Leaders Are Burning Out And How To Run The Other Way Part 2

candle burning.

PART 2

Welcome back to part two of this ministry-specific trilogy. If you missed part 1, click here and come back. Friendly reminder: These examples are geared towards leaders in the Church. Still, there is a definite corporate parallel if that’s you.

Now for reason #4.

Continue reading “7 Reasons Ministry Leaders Are Burning Out And How To Run The Other Way Part 2”

How To Lead Friends And Fools (Without Losing Your Cool)

fools and friends on a bike.

The transition.

I can’t think of a more awkward transition than friend to boss. I’d rather have adult braces. Which I do! If you haven’t experienced this unique discomfort yet, you will. Just wait. (not the braces)   

And…

Leading a fool will make you feel CRAZY; it’s a fast-track to questioning your own sanity.

Answer: “No, you’re dealing with foolery.”


Lead people long enough and you will lead friends AND fools. This blog will give you the tools to navigate both (without losing friendships or your mind). 

Each requires something different:

Fools need “rules,” and friends need “real.”

Let’s dive in, friend first. (It’s easier.)

Continue reading “How To Lead Friends And Fools (Without Losing Your Cool)”

How To Beat Quiet Quitting In Your Culture Part 2

climber with direction

The Vision Factor

Leading anything today is daunting. It doesn’t matter how long your track record was or how well it worked—we ALL face the same new challenge:

Engaging people in a way that makes them WANT TO STAY in a world where quitting is now cool.

So why is this so difficult?


Back to usual…

clocking out.

For starters, the world drastically changed overnight—along with all the rules—and none of us remained unscathed.

Is there a leader left on the planet who hasn’t fantasized about stocking shelves in the last three years?

I imagined myself clocking out at a factory (like the one in Tommy Boy, of course), shoving a paper timecard into one of those old-school machines, but instead of dinging, it would say: “Well done, good and faithful servant. Your shift is over. You are free to go bowling or do whatever you see fit with your uninterrupted and ‘fireless’ evening. See ya tomorrow.”

…is coming back to bite us.

Fast forward, and the trauma we endured is beginning to rear its head—sideways. Don’t believe me? Ask your five closest friends or co-workers how they’re doing. Exactly. This is a “global WE,” not just a “you and me” problem.

And yet, there’s no better time to build a culture that pulls people in.

So how do we do that?


Welcome to Part 2 of “How To Beat Quiet Quitting In Your Culture.”

where are you on this pyramid?

Part 1 “claimed” the world’s most inspiring cultures share two common factors: CHALLENGE AND VISION. If you missed it, I’m afraid you might get lost in a mountain of metaphors, so—you know what to do…


Click to catch up. I’ll time you. GO! (my seven-year-old is sprinting…)

Alright, now that we are ready to climb and understand the importance ‘challenge’ plays in creating great culture, it’s time to unleash factor #2 and make our way to the summit.

This blog will show you how to create a vision for your team, department, or division that propels the overall mission—a vision that will guide your culture “beyond healthy,” past apathy all the way to the summit.

Are you ready?

Continue reading “How To Beat Quiet Quitting In Your Culture Part 2”

How To Beat “Quiet Quitting” In Your Culture Part 1

hand over face

The Challenge Factor

If you are leading anything, you are creating culture. CEOs, church leaders, and little-league coaches have cultures forming around them—and so do you! The question is whether that culture is pulling people in or pushing them away.  

Are you struggling with:

  • turnover?
  • quiet quitting?
  • attracting top talent?

If so, staying where you are might be the riskiest decision you can make. The good news is two factors consistently show up in the world’s most inspiring cultures:

CHALLENGE AND VISION.

Both can be learned, added, and applied.


Challenge is a cheat code.

The problem with playing it safe these days is we are smack in the middle of what experts are calling a “Turnover Tsunami.” Pandemic burnout has people leaving in droves, looking for what’s next or a place to rest. No doubt, it’s a leadership dilemma!

But the answer to a wandering eye is not EASY. On the contrary, people want to be a part of something bigger—a climb of a lifetime—stretched beyond their comfort.

a mountain to climb

We need a mountain to climb and a compass to guide. Then we can go “beyond healthy” and take our culture to the next level.


The path to the "culture summit" is NOT easy, but it is available to all who are willing. This blog will show you how to use challenge to your advantage, defeat apathy, and give you four simple ways to start climbing.

doc brown.

“Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.”


But before we start climbing… You can’t effectively lead what is fundamentally broken. Getting healthy comes first. If you need help with that, click here and GET UNTOXIC.

Now, onward and upward!

Continue reading “How To Beat “Quiet Quitting” In Your Culture Part 1″

Get Untoxic Part 2: How To Move Towards Healthy One Splinter At A Time

leading a cactus

I was a splinter.

My splinter past haunts me. But oddly, it has served me well as a leader. It’s the reason I don’t mess around with sharp objects. I understand (firsthand) how dangerous splinters are to culture. If you don’t, make sure to read Part 1.

Again, splinters are the people in your ranks who are disruptive on purpose.

A splinter is toxic.

They are opposed to your direction or YOU. Simply put, these wooden spears are not on board and aren’t going anywhere voluntarily. And they are ruining the culture you are trying to build.

Great cultures still get splinters.

So, if you want to lead a dynamic culture, you can’t skip the splinter step. The question is not if; it’s HOW you will respond.

Unfortunately, we look the other way and hope it goes away. It doesn’t. Splinters that stay too long get infected and spread through negativity.

Many of you are experiencing that currently.

This blog will outline 3 ways to remove splinters and build immunity for the future as you lead your culture from toxic to "UNTOXIC."
Continue reading “Get Untoxic Part 2: How To Move Towards Healthy One Splinter At A Time”

GET UNTOXIC! Soak Your Splinters Out And Change Your Culture Now

imprisoned by toxicity

Your culture is at risk.

It’s amazing what happens when you get a splinter. It’s barely noticeable to the human eye, and yet it becomes the only thing that matters in your life the moment it enters your body.

Everything is on hold until you get that little wooden sword out.

Some people in your ranks are splinters. They are disruptive on purpose and intend to cause division in your culture. Their behavior is toxic. Unthinkable, I know.  

Too many leaders wait it out and hope it works itself out. Don’t wait!

Looking the other way is how a culture turns toxic. 

This two-part blog will either help you reverse the tide of toxicity or help you build immunity.  

After all, you’ve come this far, don’t let a couple “bozos” ruin it for everybody.

Continue reading “GET UNTOXIC! Soak Your Splinters Out And Change Your Culture Now”