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I was a splinter.

My splinter past haunts me. But oddly, it has served me well as a leader. It’s the reason I don’t mess around with sharp objects. I understand (firsthand) how dangerous splinters are to culture. If you don’t, make sure to read Part 1.

Again, splinters are the people in your ranks who are disruptive on purpose.

A splinter is toxic.

They are opposed to your direction or YOU. Simply put, these wooden spears are not on board and aren’t going anywhere voluntarily. And they are ruining the culture you are trying to build.

**Great cultures still get splinters.**

So, if you want to lead a dynamic culture, you can’t skip the splinter step. The question is not if; it’s HOW you will respond.

Unfortunately, we look the other way and hope it goes away. It doesn’t. Splinters that stay too long get infected and spread through negativity.

Many of you are experiencing that currently.

This blog will outline 3 ways to remove splinters and build immunity for the future as you lead your culture from toxic to "UNTOXIC."

Get UNTOXIC

Some of you are standing at the starting line wondering if it’s worth the effort—if change is possible. Your culture has more than a few splinters; you are leading a full-blown cactus!

I get it. And the answer is for sure YESSSS! But not overnight and not without a fight.

Let’s talk about HOW we get untoxic, starting with the uncomfortable act of dealing with splinters and this hard truth:

Some people will have to go before noticeable change can occur.

Adjusting the splinter ratio.

Reversing the tide of toxicity in your culture starts with reducing the number of toxins (splinters). And turning a culture 180 degrees doesn’t happen without casualties.

If that sounds harsh, you’re wrong. (That was harsh!) Nah, this is what I wish I knew, and it will help you prepare for what to expect.

Don’t forget, “My greatest weakness as a leader is that I love people too much.”

Past is heavy, future is light.

Not only will some people have to go.

But, over time, you will need enough new people—with no baggage, no predisposition towards the past, no bad habits—to help tip the scales towards health.

The future is easier. Why? Because…

Switching directions is harder than getting new directions.

So, we must adjust the ratio of old and new (crusty and enthused).

Then be patient. Because leaving “unhealth” requires healing.

3 Ways To Deal With Splinters

1. TURN EM’ AROUND

Splinters can change.

I’ve seen the surliest of splinters get healthy. So, I’m all for providing space and grace for people to work it out. However, when you’re turning the culture rudder 180 degrees, you can’t afford to give the same runway IF things were healthier.

Think smaller runway with a cliff at the end… One last chance to fly or…

Move on.

Call them out to call them up.

A select few will fly, but don’t expect a flock.

The good news: Splinters who find their way and fly back to the solution side serve a unique purpose.

1. They can detect potential splinters. Experience gives them a heightened splinter radar.

2. They can call out splinters from personal experience. “Don’t make the mistake I made” is powerful.

3. They make great ambassadors. Those who successfully move from adversary to advocate often make great allies. Former splinters understand where you’ve been and the contrast to where you are on a different level. As a result, they can be your most vocal supporters.

2. TWEEZE EM’ OUT

Tweezers are laser-focused on one thing at a time, which is good because one is enough. One bad attitude is infectious; infections spread. Splinters use negativity to spread their message.

One bad apple spoils the bunch.

Don’t let one ruin it for everyone.

Instead, play to the greatest common denominator.

Too often, we create policies that affect everyone based on the behavior of less than one percent. Unhealthy cultures play to the lowest common denominator. If you want to lead a dynamic culture, flip that.

Don’t allow the entire body to suffer because of one or two splinters. Instead, get good with tweezers. Pursue them with the same tenacity you would a foreign object stuck in your body. Get good with tweezers.

Don’t miss this point: Their co-workers are waiting for you to act, hoping you’ll do the right thing. Will you?

Assume the best and deal direct (with splinters).

The healthier you get, the less often you need to slow down and pull-out painful splinters. Great cultures assume the best and deal direct…ly. (I really wanted that rhyme. 🤷‍♂️)

I believe anyone can change, but sometimes it takes being ‘tweezed’ before they will. In that case, the change happens somewhere else. And since great culture doesn’t stop caring when people leave, it’s still a win-win.

(The Godfather “You’re dead to me” mentality is over.)

Great culture doesn’t stop when people leave.

Waiting too long is way too costly.

You wouldn’t do it with a real splinter. So, you shouldn’t do it with a culture-splinter, aka culture-killer. Waiting too long leads to infection. Then it spreads.

The longer you wait, the messier it gets.

One splinter, many messages.

You are doing more than removing a single splinter by taking swift action.

It sends a message to any future splinters that you mean business.
“We will address sideways energy!”
There’s a cascading effect that fights future battles before they begin.
It gives others the confidence to call it out when they see it.

Prepare to be the enemy.

Finally, don’t expect splinters to go without a fight. Their job is to make you suffer—to inflict pain, and send unfair emails to HR.

That’s normal. Never easy, but it often says more about them than you.

So, when your tweezers get shaky, remember it’s not about you OR them. You are doing it for the people they’ve been afflicting.

When my motivation is for others, it helps me get over myself.

THE “TWEEZING” PROCESS IN 4 PARTS

1. BE READY

Prepare for the worst, pray for the best.
Plan the conversation ahead of time. (Main points, possible rebuttals, etc.)
Pick a neutral spot that removes power dynamics, like a coffee shop.

Now is not the time to wing it. Although I’m a fan of “winging,” this is not that. *Remember, the “removal point” is a necessary ending, NOT a negotiation.

2. BRING BACKUP

A third party is a great way to guard against “he-said, she-saids.”
It’s an added layer of accountability.
It’s also much easier to observe demeanor when you can tag in and out of the driver’s seat.
~~Good cop/bad cop?~~

High-stakes conversations can go sideways quick—don’t go it alone.

3. BE CLEAR

Now is not the time to be clever! (My Achilles.)
Cut through the filter with laser-like clarity.
Always kind, crystal clear.

For example, “We’ve had this conversation too many times. But unfortunately, things have not improved, so your runway here has run out.”

Under normal circumstances, people tend to hear what they want to hear; Under duress, people hear with earmuffs.

When emotions are high, listening is hard.

4. BE FOR THEM

Remove them without breaking them.
Keep the splinter intact—only with their bags packed!
Call out their potential.
Wish them well by ending well.

Some of the best conversations in my career were “endings.”

I know, crazy. But here’s why…

Letting someone go is an incredible opportunity to speak some hail-mary truth. There’s nothing to lose but a lot to gain. Endings hold endless possibilities.

It’s a chance to call out their potential, hoping they will someday answer the call.

And sure, they may never. But my “inner optimist” knows those words may sink in someday when enough future bosses echo them.

And that is why we end well.

Okay, set down the tweezers. Now let's start building immunity by strengthening your community.

3. SOAK EM’ OUT

Ultimately, we want to create a culture that naturally defends against splinter behavior. It builds immunity against it, requiring fewer conversations and more people leaving before needing to be asked.

If good cultures tweeze people out, great cultures soak them out.

Misery loves company.

Average cultures allow misery to commiserate.
Great cultures churn them out or turn them around.
They go or grow.

Either way, they don’t get to stay splinters forever.

Healthy cultures naturally churn out toxins...

Introducing Churnover.

The culture itself becomes the warm water that pushes out impurities. As a result, toxic people are soaking in real-time, forced to either change or self-select out.

I call this “Churnover.” And yes, it’s a made-up word. Not to be confused with turnover, the rate of people leaving or getting let go.

Churnover is slightly different. It’s the speed at which peers pull people in or push them out based on culture fit.

If turnover runs on authority, Churnover runs on peer pressure—the good kind. Embrace it!

Churnover Benefits:

It filters for you.
It’s policed by peers.
It works when you’re not there.
It scales.

Of course, it takes time to develop. Still, when people (who are not you) hold others accountable, churnover is working on your behalf.

When Churnover is working:

Gossip gets stopped.
Complaining (for no good reason) gets challenged.
Assuming the worst gets reversed.

All without you being there.

Splinters will always be with us.

Every leader needs the ability to identify, remove, and—on rare occasion—rehab a splinter. All three are necessary tools in your culture-building/leadership tool belt.

At this point, you’ve successfully:

Turned around the chameleons.
Tweezed out the troublemakers.
Soaked out the impurities.

You are noticeably healthier because you worked to get the right people in the mix to help you build what’s next. You are untoxic. Way to go!

Becoming splinter-proof is the foundation for a healthy culture. BUT healthy is not enough.

So, what’s next?

Healthy is only halfway.

Now we want to build a framework for sustained growth—while remaining healthy—to keep us moving in the right direction. That is how we go beyond healthy and get people inspired to:

bring their best (performance)
bring their friends (recruitment)
and raise up the next-gen (development)

Next month we will discuss the importance of creating a culture statement with your team—a vision for your specific area that propels the overall mission. It’s a must if you intend to go beyond healthy and build a culture bigger than you.

Thank you for reading!

It means the world that you would take the time to read this. Thank you.
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I hope this blog encourages you.

No one argues leadership is harder these days. It can be tempting to quit. Maybe get a job that requires zero decisions, and when the workday ends, it's over!

But the world needs your voice and your leadership now more than ever. So, let's encourage each other along the way. I know I need it.

I would love to hear from you!

Hit me up in the comments.
- What have you done to move your culture towards health?
- Where have you struggled?
- What have you learned?

Let’s connect.
- If you have questions, need some encouragement, or just want to connect: Click here.
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