When someone decides to leave staff (without even thinking), we throw elaborate goodbye parties and give emotional speeches. Through tears, we tell people how important they are and what a profound impact they’ve had on us.
We focus on who they are, except quirks become perks, annoying habits are now hilarious, and little wins are memorialized as landmark achievements.
We don’t hold back; no, we go overboard. We have cake parties.
But what if we did that before the resignation?
Dare I suggest the possibility that there would be no resignation? (No great resignation?? Crazy talk?)
Maybe that’s a stretch, but I’ll never forget having that thought when one of my best buds decided it was time to leave our staff. We got hired at the same time and had been working together for almost a decade. It was a big deal.
So, we shared old war stories, we laughed, and we cried. Oh, and we did what we all do when someone leaves a staff: We showered him with praise and gifts and cake—for the first time!
On his way out, he said something I will never forget…
“I felt more loved in leaving than I ever did in working here.”
In that moment, I could hear the song playing in my head, “Love the ones you’re with – – -Love the ones you’re with.” Why the heck did we wait for goodbye cake to tell him how much he meant to us???
“Love the ones you’re with!”
I decided if I was ever in a position of leadership, I would not wait. (I was not at the time)
I would celebrate before it was too late. I would tell my team how much they mean. I would praise my people for their unique contributions as we go, not just when they go. And I would deny my human nature to withhold because if you’re the leader, your people need to know that YOU know. (You know?)
I would love the ones I’m with by trying to see them through the cake party lens of losing them.
Tell your team how much they mean before they leave, not just when they leave.
It’s so simple, but there’s something about human nature that wants to wait and makes this more complicated than it needs to be. It costs us nothing, but we hesitate. And it’s not just a problem at work.
Don’t believe me?
•Do you start dieting before there’s a problem or when your pants don’t fit? I didn’t start counting my macros till my kids were calling me a pregnant gorilla.
•When’s the last time you pulled into the gas station to top off a half-full tank? I’d rather hit “0 miles remaining” on the dash as I’m coasting towards the pump… in neutral… with the car off… ‘Fred Flintstone’ brakes to stop.
•Do you praise your team in the in-between, or do you wait for the finish line of a big project?
Your team needs to know how much they matter as you go, not just when they go.
Your team needs to know how much they matter as you go, not just when they go. Share on X5 REASONS WE WAIT TILL IT’S TOO LATE.
1. We Value Productivity More Than People.
We don’t want our people to become complacent. For those type A, get it done, take no prisoners kind of leaders, this is your biggest fear. Maybe if we tell them how great they’re doing, they will relax and be less productive. Too risky.
When people feel valued, they go the extra mile anyway.
2. We Are Threatened.
Telling someone they are making a massive impact doesn’t correlate to your own impact unless you subscribe to a scarcity mindset. We can’t afford to be insecure about other people’s contributions if it comes at the expense of building up our teams.
Scarcity mindset always leads to lack of encouragement.
3. We Are Too Self-Focused.
We don’t notice others because we can’t see past ourselves. We are too consumed with our own advancement and the way we’re being perceived to truly see the people we lead and take the time to encourage them.
As soon as we get over ourselves, we can come under the ones who need us most.
4. We Don’t Care.
If this describes you, then you should not be leading anyone! Being apathetic is far more dangerous than being unaware.
If you’re a leader and you no longer care—it’s time to find a new chair. (See what I did there?)
5. We Assume We Have Tomorrow.
We don’t have time. We think we will later. So, we wait, and then we hear the news of their departure, and we are too late. You blew it!!! (Happy Gilmore voice.)
Don’t wait till tomorrow; tell your people how much they mean today.
The Great Resignation
“TGR” doesn’t need to scare us, but it should remind us that pay is no longer enough to keep people around.
The little things have become the big things.
What a great time to reverse something seemingly small like our tendency to withhold praise, right?
The workplace landscape has radically changed, so the way we lead should also look different. Translation: We can’t pay our way out of this mess.
Start seeing your team for all they’re worth by viewing them through the goodbye party lens of losing them. It changes everything.
And whether you lead a company or coach little league, let’s double down on speaking life into our teams because they need to hear from us both now AND later.
Don’t wait to celebrate your people.
Most leaders wait. You are not most leaders.
Love the ones you’re with.
Thanks for taking the time to read this blog.
I would love to hear how you are handling the challenge of the great resignation. Send me an email or comment below and let me know!
If you found this at all helpful, it would mean the world to me if you would share it with someone who might benefit.
If you want to stay digitally connected and be the first to know when fresh blogs are born, please hit subscribe!
You really nailed it with this one! Great words, and I would add that as so many organizations have pivoted/struggle during and continuing with the pandemic, the added workload for many is not insignificant. Thanks for the great insight Dave.
Thx Barry! Very true—less people carrying more these days.